Gary Vanderfucking up our lives.

Good morning gorgeous! It's so lovely to see you. Grab a coffee and get cozy, we have some stuff to catch up on.

2019 brings with it a lot of pressure to make drastic changes to our lives in a short period of time. Go on a diet, hit the gym, start a business, make more money. The internet is filled with crap about how CEOs get up at 4 am, read 800 books a month, and sleep 20 minutes every 16 days. These bs tips on how to GaryVander-fuck-yourself will have us productivity hacking ourselves into our early graves.

It’s exhausting.

It doesn’t help that the internet would really like us to be thinner, more stylish, wealthier, and well lit, with a rosy hue that matches the rest of our carefully curated grid. Our phones constantly remind that other people are doing it, which makes us feel bad. Then, our notifications shame us for spending too much time looking at other people #crushingit, and feeling bad, so we somehow feel worse. It’s rude.

If you’re feeling this, I’m there with you. Some gentle reminders:

1. You are not alone
It feels lonely when everyone is posting their #goals, and #wins. It’s easy to forget that the internet is cobbled together with a lot of strained smiles and well-intentioned lies. Not everything you see is real. A lot of people are struggling, and we should all be a bit more honest about it. I’m there with you.

2. Nothing great was ever built quickly
There’s a reason as we age a lot of us get rid of our Ikea furniture. Any table I built in 10 minutes won’t be very good at being a table. Good habits take time. No quick fix, productivity hack or fad diet ever made a person better. Building yourself a great life takes a long time.

We have to craft ourselves with intention and love. If you’re feeling the pressure to go faster, remember: you have time.

3. Be kinder to yourself
A lot of the pressure we feel is intrinsic— we do this shit to ourselves. If, for a day, you had to say out loud everything you say to yourself— what would happen? I’ll tell you, people in your life would probably be horrified.

We need to treat ourselves with the care we treat a close friend. Take a big deep breath with me on this Wednesday morning, and make a silent promise to be a little bit gentler on yourself this year. You’re working hard, you’re on the path, and you will get there.