Good morning gorgeous! It's fabulous to see you up so early, squinting back at me. It's been a cold dark week, so we deserve to pop a vitamin D, put on a hot pot of coffee, and chit-chat. First up, I need to gently call you out on something.
You’re not a good actor
Ok if you’re an actual actor, ignore my random attack on your profession. I’m sure you’re splendid as Horatio or whatever.
For everyone else, your not as good of an actor as you assume. I tell you this not to dash your secret hope of playing opposite Meryl Streep in a 2025 reimagining of Space Jam (that would be dope). I tell you this to dispel a rumor you made up about yourself, a rumor that may still be wreaking havoc on your brain.
The rumor is a variation of one of these:
I’m not as smart as they think.
Someone is going to find out I don’t know anything and ask me to leave.
I don’t deserve to be here.
I’m not good enough.
Imposter syndrome underestimates our worth and our abilities. It gnaws at our potential, whispering that it’s only a matter of time before we’re ousted as a fraud. It’s a spiral staircase of self-hatred, the only way to travel is down.
And, it’s bullhockey.
If you think you’re an imposter, you’re wrong. You know how I know? You’re not that good of an actor, my friend. You’re not Talented Mr. Ripley-ing through life because you’re not Meryl. No one is, she's a damn national treasure. Anyway, people are smarter than you give them credit for— and, real talk, if you were as stupid and useless as you sometimes make yourself believe, they’d have figured it out already.
The truth that your imposter syndrome doesn't want you to believe is this: You are worthy. You deserve the job, the title, the promotion, and the accolades you have worked so hard to earn. You deserve to take up space in this world. Here's the catch, you won't feel worthy if you don’t believe it to be true. No one will cheer for you if you’ve decided not to cheer for yourself. So, get out your pom-poms dammit.
I want to make this little Wednesday tradition of ours better.
This is a two question survey.
I'd so appreciate if you took a moment for it.
We need to talk about sexual harassment for people in a hurry
This past weekend it came out that everyone’s formerly favorite Astrophysicist Neil deGrasse Tyson has been accused of sexual misconduct by three women. The accusations range from strange to creepy, to violent and horrible. You’d think for having such a complex understanding of the universe, our boy Neil would understand that no means no.
The first accusation is by a woman who says Tyson searched under her dress to find her tattoo of Pluto when she asked for a simple photo op. Dude, you know what Pluto looks like. It’s your whole thing. Stop touching strange women without their permission.
The second accuser is a former employee of Tyson's. She recounted some super creepy workplace behavior. Tyson invited her over for a “professional wine and cheese". Everyone’s sketchy mustached uncle Neil then proceeded to chillax in a white undershirt and asked her if she “needed a release”. Let me stop you here with a hot tip for the brotatoes, asking someone who works for you if they “need a release” is creepier than finding John Waters in your closet. Don’t do that. The same colleague said Neil declined a hug saying “If I hug you I’ll just want more”. Her boss said that. She had to quit her job, but I'm sure people will do a lot of hand-wringing over his career...
The last accusation is from a woman who recounted a terrifying night in college where she alleges that Neil drugged and sexually assaulted her. I don’t have a quip. That’s fucking awful.
Neil talked in circles in an apology on Facebook, somewhat attempting to justify his actions, somewhat apologizing for them. He seemed to deny the most serious allegation by low-key slandering the intelligence of the victim and alleging she couldn’t possibly know if she was raped because she blacked out. Science, amirite?
Fox Broadcasting and National Geographic have said they’re investigating the validity of the accusations, just as the law intended. *sigh*
The Dame Is Back
The Dame Tips are a monthly guest series by wntta's resident Don Draper: an elegant hedonist who suffers no fools, The Dame herself, writer Ali Schofield.
I have to admit, at first I struggled with this month’s tips because I just found absolutely everything a goddam cliché. I didn’t want to be some tired third rate Buzzfeed Karen telling you to shop local or some shit, because I’m sure you do, and actually, I don’t really care. As I’m sure you’ve learned by now, when I write to you I aim to bring more nuance than what you would get from a subway poster, and lucky for you I feel I’ve delivered with a deluxe holiday edition of Dame Tips to get you through this month with a grin...
Read the Dame's December tips on the blog.
Something to make you laugh
Gastor Almonte is Brooklyn Batman.
Something for the overachievers
Shh, there’s a secret to getting on a Top 40 Under 40 list.
Something to make you think
Gun control is racist.
Something for your hump day
Dan Clay doesn’t want you to be in ‘office drag’.
Something to get you through
The universe buries strange jewels deep within us all, and then stands back to see if we can find them.
- Elizabeth Gilbert, from the soul-refreshing book Big Magic
Thank you for joining around the campfire this week, I'm so grateful you decided to come by. Do bring a new friend or two by next week, there is always more space at our table.