Good morning gorgeous, it's so lovely to see you on this post-election-dumpster-fire Wednesday morning. Pull up a chair and grab a coffee, it's time we caught up. Since we last chatted there was a big ol' election in Canada. On Monday the Liberals won with a minority government and our collective butt cheeks unclenched. Fun fact, Andrew Scheer's butt cheeks remain unappealing. More about that in a moment (the election, not the damp derrière).
If you haven't seen it—we wrote Tinder profiles for the top three candidates on Sunday. Then, on Monday the internet found them and went HAM. From the bottom of my heart, thank you for sharing, amplifying, calling out folks who bit our style, and being an incredibly supportive community. I am so grateful for this weird morning crew, you are magical.
Our post trended under all of the candidates' hashtags all day, so we showed up first when someone looked for #AndrewScheer on insta. You know what that means! From beneath bridges, basements, and sparsely decorated one-bedrooms, the trolls slithered from their hidey holes to offer opinions on our Tinder journalism.
About halfway through the day, I realized I was doing something deeply human, but also flawed. I was magnifying the negativity and minimizing the positivity. I was letting tens of comments determine how I felt about thousands of people seeing and enjoying what we had created.
We all do this, don't we? So few of us know how to hold on to something good. We don't have the shelving for accomplishments, but we have walk-in closets ready to house every single word of criticism. It's common to wake up in a cold sweat at 3 am remembering something dumb we did, but do we ever wake up at 3 am proud of our damn selves for something great? Only Lizzo does that shit.
Modern life demands too much of us, perfect insta hair and a PhD, abs and a successful side hustle. Respond to every text, every email, remember the birthdays, attend the baby shower, be a sex god, be a super-parent, mentor, host the event, minimize your pores, but also make the million. Fuck there is a lot there for us to fail at. The deck is stacked against us, so if we're looking for failures we are going to find some. It's inevitable; we can't do this all and still sleep.
When we live our lives focused on the fails, we create our own filter through which to see the world. The filter looks for the criticisms, the "areas for improvement", and puts a spotlight on them—casting our accomplishments into the shadows. We find it hard to see the good things because they've been muted and darkened for so long. We squint for self-acceptance until it hurts our eyes.
We need to change our filters to let in the light. It won't happen right away, and we'll need to practice finding and celebrating our wins every day. Build your accomplishment shelving, brick by brick. To start here are some ideas:
1. Accept compliments without caveats. Just say thank you.
2. Set the bar for yourself. Decide what success looks and feels like to you, instead of letting Instagram or your boss choose for you.
3. Make space and time to celebrate your accomplishments— the big milestone stuff, but the tiny incremental stuff too.
Remember: you're so much further along the path than you know.
Know someone who needs to hear this? Forward them the letter <3
Canada is emerging from a deeply strange six weeks for our Federal election. We're feeling the politics burn out, so just time for a short recap this week.
1. Maxed the fuck out
The People's Party of Canada didn't win any seats in the election on Monday. If you don't know them, just picture white bros with tiki torches and khakis ranting about immigration on Reddit and you've got the gist. Their leader, and white supremacist Liam Neeson lookalike, Maxime Bernier didn't even win his own seat— proving that it is possible to be too racist for Quebec. Who knew?
Trudeau is back, and we can exhale in relief because of the possible outcomes this one is fine. Trudeau took the election with 157 seats to form a minority government. Is JT the woke bae of our pussy hat knitting fantasies? Not even close, Susan. Is he problematic af? Yup. We'll need to keep Trudeau in check this time, watching not just what he says, but what he does as the leader of our government. For today, we'll take our reproductive freedoms and carbon taxes as a win*.
With the confidence of the dude talking over you in Intro Philosophy, Scheer came into the Federal election to say pretty much anything to get elected. Canada took a look at his bag of 2% milk ass and said; soft pass. Were you patting yourself on the back, Karen? He still won the popular vote. Scheer says he won't step down, hell-bent on maintaining the Conservatives' charisma deficit. It's still possible he'll be replaced; those brotatoes do hate a deficit.
Something to make you laugh
The Queer Eye Cast makeover Big Mouth's Coach Steve.
He's Tom Selleck raised in a crawlspace, hunny!
Something you need to watch
Comedian Amber Ruffin weighs in on Trump's racist 'lynching' Tweets
Something to help
Free your mind (from self doubt)
Something of an Oracle
The Cut's Madame Clairvoyant reads your horoscope for this week.
Something to get you through
Don't ever make decisions based on fear. Make decisions based on hope and possibility. Make decisions based on what should happen, not what shouldn't.
- Michelle Obama
Thank you for stopping by today, it was so good to see you. Come say hi on Insta, Twitter, or Pinterest, if ya nasty. Until next time, have a beautiful week, friend.
P.s If you enjoy getting this dose of sass into your mailbox every Wednesday, please share the love. I'll keep writing if you keep showing up and bringing friends. Thank you <3