Good morning gorgeous. I hope you're feeling like the powerful badass you are on this cold af Wednesday morning. A bunch of you are new, and we are so so excited you're here. Welcome. Pull up a chair, and get cozy, it's time for us to dish. This week was pretty exciting— #wntta got Twitter! She's new, be nice. Also a huge congrats to Sophie Cox who won the Ambassador referral contest for Becoming, Big Magic and Day One Leadership. A heavy box of inspiration is en route to your life <3
This week had some bloody nonsense with Brexit, collusion, and China—but first, as we scroll through photos of gorgeous ladies laughing over avocados and pink filtered balloon walls, let's talk a little about envy and success.
As a kid, I was a striver. You know the type, and maybe you’re there with me. Gold star chasing. Ladder climbing. I wanted to be Oprah but also Prime Minister but also a CEO. I’d see women in movies clicking their red bottom heels across the glittering floor of a towering office building, barking at their assistants to get them coffee now. I’d see all that glamour and power and think: I want that.
One day I was at a coffee shop, and the woman next to me had a bag worth a conservative $10k. She was wearing the red bottomed shoes. She was barking on her phone at someone to do something now. My old self was in awe of her, but my grown ass woman self felt tired for her. As I sat observing, my gut piped in and said, that isn’t the power you want honey. Great for her, not for you. You’re going to do it your way.
It’s easy to identify success the same way everyone else does. We’re taught from when we’re very small to see money, titles, and power as success. It’s easy to be jealous of people we mark as successful, the ones going on fabulous holidays on Instagram and getting promoted in glittering office towers.
We forget there are no perfect people or perfect situations. Perfect is a quick and uncatchable bitch. She’ll just make you tired trying.
We forget that there is an abundance of success in the world. Theirs doesn’t take away from yours, and yours doesn’t have to look like theirs.
We forget to focus on our own journey, to dig deep into how success looks, feels and tastes for us. Not for Hollywood, or for Susan, or for fucking Instagram.
And we forget to live the hell out of the life we have right now.
It’ll take a bit of courage, but let’s put down the feed-envy and find our own way in 2019. Oh, and no matter how incompetent our future assistants are, let's never yell at them.
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Sometimes staying under the covers seems like the best option.
I feel you.
But c’mon, let’s go see what’s out there.
- Lin Manuel Miranda
We need to talk about conmen, conservatives, and bad compromise
Yesterday was a pretty big day for our friends in the UK (poetry?). Theresa May's Brexit deal was voted down 432 to 202, the biggest defeat of a Prime Minister's bill in history. Go girl, make history. Anyway, if that is a jumble of words that mean very little to you, I get it. Let's back up a bit.
In 2016 David Cameron, then Prime Minister of the UK, was fed up with some really right-leaning Members of Parliament who wanted Britain's membership in the EU looked at. They'd been on it since 2012. He was like, 'Will it shut you arseholes up if we vote and I let the citizens of the UK tell you no?" (I'm paraphrasing). They agreed and put it to a public vote— but first, they told the people that leaving the EU would increase budgets for healthcare (lie), and there would be no economic harm to the UK from leaving the EU (flaming hot lie). They lied a lot. Oh, also Xenophobia. The Brexiters drummed up anti-immigration sentiments to get working class people to vote to leave the EU. The UK voted in favor of Brexit. The vote was super racist. What can't a little populist racism do, amirite? Ugh.
Anyway, Cameron was not expecting it and resigned, handing Theresa May the impossible job of negotiating an exit from the UK that would fulfill as many bonkers right-wing promises as possible to get the conservative votes, without, you know, collapsing the economy and sending Britain into a recession the likes of which hasn't been seen in decades. Chill.
So, she did what any diligent woman does when given an insane and impossible task— she tried really hard, and it wasn't perfect. Yesterday's vote was a major part of that effort, and it failed historically. It wasn't set up to succeed from the start. To say May is between a rock and a hard place ignores the giant boulder on her chest. Next up, will there be a referendum to reverse the Brexit vote, or will the UK leave the EU with no deal? Next week on oh-fuck-please-don't-screw-the-global-economy and so many other things!
We need to talk about what just happened on the internet
Being a woman on the internet can suck for an incredible variety of reasons— strange dicks in your DMs, trolls sending you grammatically questionable death threats, and now men pretending you're stalking them? Uh, that one is novel. It's what happened when Chloe Condon got a DM that someone just saw a photo of her on some dude's Instagram.
That photo was taken at a tech conference 3 years ago, and Chole had used it in an article on the challenges women in tech face. Chloe had never met Tee Medlin, but here he was, using her 3-year old photo and claiming she was stalking him at a tech conference she (nor he) was at. At that moment, a new form of bizarre and ironic online harassment was born. Turns out, our brotato Tee has a long history of making up crazy nonsense and has a (now removed) Instagram full of doctored images inflating his importance in the tech world and straight up making shit up. Internet wizards are discovering his lies everywhere. Chole wrote a great piece on it, give it a minute this morning.
Something to make you laugh
Baroness Von Sketch doesn't want your #mealprep.
Something to make you hopeful
Gillette is redefining what 'the best a man can get' means, with— and this is real— an anti-toxic masculinity ad campaign geared at MEN from a shavingcompany. Damn, 2019, we see you.
Something to make you think
Takara Small teaches us how smart home systems have birthed a new form of domestic abuse.
Something to dance in the shower to
Rag n' Bone Man's voice will make you feel 10 feet tall.
Something to get you through
I'm not afraid of storms, for I'm learning to sail my ship.
- Mary Louise Alcott
Thank you for coming to the campfire this morning friends. If you think you know someone who would like a love letter, please forward it to them. You can grab your own link here, sometimes we do cool contests and send IRL letters. This keeps going because y'all bring new friends every week— and that's some kinda magic. Thank you.