We need to talk about death by 1,000 Ford cuts

Good morning gorgeous. I'm so delighted to see you on this late-summer morning. The sun is setting earlier, and we're starting to full panic about the end of summer. But don't worry darling, soon it'll be time for pumpkin-flavored things and scary movie blanket-forts. There is so much crisp goodness to look forward to, it'll be glorious. Before we chat what went down this week, I want to talk a bit about self-empathy.

A lot of the women and people in marginalized genders I know were brought up with high expectations of their behavior. Smile, make them feel comfortable, be friendly, demure, polite, subservient, get straight fucking A's and don't screw up. Being perfect is hard damn work, and spoiler alert— completely impossible. So a lot of us fucked up along the way. Sometimes in little ways, and other times in bigger ways.

The most people pleaser-ey among us remember every fuckup, every awkward comment, every career misstep. We bolt awake at night remembering something we did or said. It could be 15 years ago, or just last month, but we'll lay awake replaying it in horrifying 3D. As we tell ourselves these stories about our innate badness, they stack on top of each other. It takes a toll.

We're conditioned to forgive a lot of things other people do to us, but we aren't taught to self-forgive. We work on everything else, but we rarely make space to tell ourselves that we're okay. We give out our empathy like tickets at a carnival, and never keep any for ourselves.

It's time we kept a little of that empathy.

We should look at the versions of ourselves as chapters in a book. Different versions of ourselves over time who are constantly evolving and growing. Yes, that was you who did that, but not you today. You have a lot more experience and information past you couldn't access.

As Oprah and Maya Angelou say: Once you know better, do better.

It's key to see our past-selves for who they were— someone doing their best with limited life experience. Someone making mistakes and learning. Someone young and messy and kinda stupid at times. Someone to laugh at a little. Someone not to be so hard on. Someone trying their goddamned best. Someone you've learned so much from.

Here's a little mantra to try out:

Dear past self,
I forgive you.
You didn’t know any better.
You were young, and dumb, and wasn’t easy to be you.
You were doing the best you could.
You fucked up a bit. Okay, maybe a lot. But that’s okay.
You’ve grown, you know better, and now you’ll do better.
You can rest easy my dear, I forgive you.

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We need to talk about death from 1,000 Ford cuts

Doug Ford is going through with his budget cuts to Ontario services like childcare and public health all in the name of COST SAVINGS. You might recall that Doug Ford's budget back in May proposed massive cuts to municipal public health, ambulance, and childcare budgets— meaning casual public health programs like vaccinations, disease prevention, student breakfast programs, and water quality testing will have their budgets slashed. E. coli will put some hair on your chest, Susan, stop your whining.

Here's how it works: historically the Provincial Government would cover 75-100% of public health budgets. All of that healthcare was too rich for Ford's blood, so he's making municipalities pay 30%. But wait, there's more. The Provincial Government used to fund 100% of the cost of creating new childcare spaces, and now municipalities are responsible for 20% of that too. These cuts mean critical health and childcare programs are going to be vanishing, and that will impact us all. They take effect Jan 1, happy fucking new year.

When these cuts were first proposed Ontario wasn't having it. We lost our collective shit. Ford's government took notice, so much so that they backed away from the proposal. Now, like a crying ex on your front lawn, it's back, baby. There's a reason it's back at the end of August. It's a sleepy news cycle, people are on vacation or in a summer-ending depression and don't want to engage. It's the perfect time to sneak in some bad news and hope we don't notice.

Oh but Doug, we noticed. Don't just rage-tweet, call your MPP and tell them to do something about it.

Something to pay attention to
THE AMAZON IS ON FUCKING FIRE. Mother Nature is pissed at us ya'll, and it'll take more than a couple of paper straws to chill her out.

Something to make you laugh
Racist Things: Twenty-Nine is a girl with extraordinary powers: she can turn any racist into an ally.

Something to get you HYPED UP
The Royal Family is the most badass, entertaining dance crew out there. Prepare to fan-girl.

Something to listen to
Snoh Aalegra has the smooth jazzy hump-day vibes you deserve to wake up to.

Something to get you through
What's the world for you if you can't make it up the way you want it?
― Toni Morrison

It was so good to see you this week, I hope you'll come by the next and the next. Bring some friends with you next Wednesday, ok? Everything is better with a few more friends.


P.s We've got a cool giveaway going on Insta for a cute tote and some delicious Korean skincare. Pop by and take a peek— and tell some friends to come too!