We need to talk about Tuck

Good morning gorgeous. It's so lovely to see you on this brisk "spring" morning. Wrap yourself up in a cozy blanket and pull up a chair, we have some catching up to do. I want to talk a bit about relationships to kick off this hump day, my dear. Something I’ve learned in my 30s is that sometimes, we need to let go.

My mom taught me to hold on to friendships, to remember birthdays and try to make it to as many baby showers as possible, to call and check in, and to spread the love. I still believe most of that (my mom is a smart lady) but not everyone reciprocates the effort it takes to maintain a relationship.

Some of them want to commiserate when things are going badly but vanish when things are going well.
Some of them want to bask in the light when things are shiny but vanish when the darkness inevitably comes.
Some of them want the rewards of friendship but refuse the work.
Some of them are just waiting for their turn to talk.

That’s OK. Not everyone deserves to be in your circle. Put your energy where it feels good, where it’s deserved and reciprocated. Then, gently let go of the people who don’t hold you up. Send them love, and let them fade into your background. Your circle will become smaller, more joyful, and more powerful.

Then, show up for the people you love. When they are going through hell, when they need a cheering squad, when their marriage or business fails, when they are celebrating cool shit in their lives.

Watching someone open bridal shower gifts is a Jordan Peele scripted nightmare, GET (ME THE FUCK) OUT. Baby shower games are low key torture and should be outlawed in at least 89 countries, and not every friend-hosted event is great— but we show up anyway.

Set the bar high. Surround yourself with those who support you, tell you like it is, and love you. Then, show up for them.

Did a friend send this to you? That's cool. You can join up here.


We need to talk about a smooth criminal

If you push something down far enough, well, it comes right the fuck back up. That’s what’s happening with the new Michael Jackson documentary Leaving Neverland. As a culture, we chose to ignore something dark— that one of our biggest stars ever was abusing children. We shoved it into a little box and moonwalked away.

Now, like Michael Jackson’s zombie in the Thriller video, it’s back.

Before you yell at me that he’s innocent, take 4 hours and watch the new documentary where two of Jackson’s victims bare their souls, then come back to shout at me. By the end of four hours, it’s clear that Jackson was a pedophile who used his fame to prey on young boys and dupe their far too trusting families.

None of this was news. For years, there have been allegations of child sexual abuse. Children came out and said they were being harmed, and we didn't listen. Like a shady bank in the early 2000s, MJ was too big to fail.

It’s hard to know what to do. Jackson has been dead for years and is no longer profiting off of his music. His influence is so deeply embedded in our culture that you can’t listen to a song by The Weeknd or Justin Timberlake without hearing Jackson.

So, what do we do?

This is too big to mute. We've muted Chris Brown and dude keeps popping back up like a bad carnival game. We have to reckon with it. We admit that one of our biggest stars was a pedophile. We believe victims, and seek justice for them. We stop letting people get away with abuse because we like their art. We stand up to people who use their power and influence to harm others. We deal with it by giving a shit, and not letting it happen again.

We need to talk about Tuck

Fox News’s anchor and bow tie of the alt right, Tucker Carlson is in a bit of hot water. Carlson is notorious for being a racist, misogynist, mansplaining boat shoe, and on Monday it got worse. Media Matters uncovered audio of Carlson calling into a show called Bubba The Love Sponge. Yes, that is the real name of the real show. *gags* Tucks was caught saying some stuff he would totally say: women are primitive, statutory rape is a-OK, that feminists need to be quiet and do what they’re told.

BTW Tuckie, we will not.

Anyway, Tucker issued an apology for his insensitive remarks. Wait, did I say apology? Nope. Apologizing is not Captain White Privilege’s jam. Instead, he basically told anyone offended to both suck it and come on his show. Again, Tuck, we will not.
Tucker has said awful things for years and as a result, his show on Fox News has been leaking advertisers like a mistreated yacht. Now it’s time for his white polo wearing ass to be fired. Boy, bye.

Something for a remake
And the princess lived a trauma-free life.

Something to make you laugh
Maria Bamford is a raccoon.

Something to make you cheer
Sexist trolls tried to take down Captain Marvel, she made $455 million anyway.

Something to make you think
The FBI found that Aunt Becky from Full House and 50 other parents frauded the college system to get their kid into elite schools. Good grades and hard work would have been easier IMO.

Something to get you through
Life shrinks or expands in proportion to one's courage.
- Anais Nin

Thank you for popping by today, friend! If you like this little letter, please share it with a friend, or two, or 400. I'll never hold you back. It's easy, just copy this linkand share, or forward the letter to a few friends. I'll keep writing if you keep showing up to the campfire.


P.s #wntta is on Instagram at @wnttathis. Come hang with us.