We need to talk about runaway brides

Good morning gorgeous, it's so lovely to see you this unseasonably chilly hump day morn. You're looking glossy and beautiful as always. Grab a warm drink and a blanket, it's time for our weekly catchup. Before we get into the trash fire that is our democracy, I want to talk to you a little bit about finding your eggs.

In our early 20s the conversation was WHAT SHOULD I DO?! WHO WILL HIRE ME?! HOW DO I COOK A CHICKEN?! Our early 20s are all exclamation points and salmonella.

Now the conversation has shifted. Now we’re at a stage where we can either cook a chicken or we keep sweaters in our stove— and we good with it. We have jobs and careers, but we’re in a stage of questioning them.

The conversation has shifted from shouty panic to urgent searching. I’ve started calling this phase of life learning what eggs you like. Not the lady bits kind, the breakfast kind. Let me explain.

I think about the movie Runaway Bride a lot. Not because it’s good. It is not good.

I think about it a lot because of the eggs. There is this scene where Richard Gere is yelling at Julia Roberts because she orders the eggs style of whatever man she is with. She doesn’t know how she likes her eggs, she just adopts the preferences of the men in her life.

We do that too. We work for companies and bosses who tell us how to direct our careers. We take on the goals they set for us, and we work our asses off to achieve them. We adopt a passion for other people’s products and ideas. We work hard to make the dreams of the people we work for reality. We’re damn good at it, and sometimes it works out.

But so often, those aren’t our eggs.

So we wake up one day and realize we don’t know how we like our eggs. We beat ourselves up about it because we feel like we should know how we like our eggs by now. But here’s the thing: we’ve been eating other people's eggs for 10+ years, so of course we don’t know.

If you’re on the egg journey, I’m with you, and I have some ideas.

Whenever you feel challenged, lit up, energized, valued, excited, inspired, or hopeful— write it down. Write down what you’re doing in that moment, who you’re with, and where you are. Start a process of excavating your soul for clues. Find patterns of what lifts you, and bend the direction of your life to make more of those moments.

The movie ends with Julia Roberts at a diner with every kind of egg on the menu in front of her. Instead of being daunted by uncovering herself, she’s excited. She feels a sense of abundance with all the world (diner) has to offer her.

I wish that for you. The infinite curiosity of discovering yourself. The wonder and excitement at the boundless possibilities your future holds for you. You're not too late, my darling. You're just getting started.

Did a friend send this to you? How lovely, you can join us here.


We need to talk about the census

NO DON'T LEAVE. I know the census sounds boring, but boring stuff can be important and scary too. A court case is being fast-tracked through the Supreme Court of the United States, and like everything with the current American administration, it's racist.

The US Commerce Secretary, and guy interrupting you in Philosophy class, Wilbur Ross, asked the census to include a citizenship question. Sounds innocuous right? Wrong. Guess who stops filling out the census when you ask that question? Immigrants and undocumented people. 6.5 million of them. That matters because the census uses how many people live in each place to helps administrators allocate hundreds of billions of dollars to resourcing to communities. It's also used to draw voting districts, and determine how congressional seats are allocated. If the census (a process designed by the Constitution to count everyone in the country, citizen or not) is designed to not to count certain people, those determinations will be wrong. The case goes to trial in June, we shall wait and see if this judiciary stuffed with conservatives (and two sexual predators!) will protect undocumented people. I could venture a guess...

If you're in Canada and patting yourself on the back for being America's cooler Liberal cousin, check yourself before you wreck yourself. Canada asks the citizenship question on our census, and that gave weight to the conservative argument to do so too in the US. We're all butts.

The Dame's Tips for Mating Season
The Dame Tips are a monthly guest series by wntta's resident Don Draper: an elegant hedonist who suffers no fools, The Dame herself, writer Ali Schofield.

Ahh, spring: such a time to be alive. No matter where you are, the (yet coming) winter thaw means mating season is upon us – for rabbits, other *waves hand dismissively* wildlife, and for humans already wet for a summer romance. This month I’ve decided to impart wisdom that will help you pair off, and hopefully get off, in the new old-fashioned way: online...

Read the whole (friggen hilarious) Dame's Tips for Mating Season on the blog.

Something to make you laugh
Luisa is not old and fat, Hollywood.

Something for a reminder
I came to slay, bitch.

Something to make you think
What is a deep fake? Behind every new technology is someone trying to fuck it.

Something to get you through
Vulnerability is not knowing victory or defeat, it’s understanding the necessity of both; it’s engaging. It’s being all in.
Brené Brown

Thank you for popping by today, it was so good to see you. Bring some friends by next week, simply forward them this letter and tell them to join us, or send them to wntta.co. Have a beautiful Wednesday.

Same time next week?


P.s wntta is on the 'gram, some say hi!