We need to talk about being Under His Eye
Hello gorgeous, I’m so happy to be back and hanging out with you this a-bit-too-techy Wednesday morning. You’re looking rested and glowy. I know the past couple of weeks have been a lot. Seriously, I take one vacation and old white men decide to take away women’s bodily autonomy. I can’t have one bloody cortado in Lisbon without some limp-wristed, loose-necked dude named Clyde trying to drag us back to the 60s. We’ll get into it, but before we do I want to chat a little on what I learned while I was away.
But isn’t this what the money is for?
Before I left on vacation I was lamenting to a friend about how hard it is to leave your company for a vacation as an entrepreneur. You miss opportunities and revenue. It feels irresponsible.
She looked at me with a smirk, and said: “But isn’t this what the money is for?”
I thought, fuck, you're right. Of course that's what it's for. Yes, money is for essentials, but we don’t work so hard just to chase more of it. Our work needs to be for more than accolades and 0s in a bank account. It needs to be for cultivating a life.
Hustle culture teaches us that our worth is determined by our achievement and output. We have drunk that shitty Kool-Aid from bros in blazers and sneakers for years. Filled with anxiety, and dreading mediocracy, we work harder and harder to prove our value to a system that doesn't care about our happiness.
We ask people “what do you do?” right after their name. It allows us to place them on the ladder we're climbing, whether or not they want on. We base our own value and the value of those in our lives on work.
This culture has taught us to be humans doing. We forget about the being part so easily.
Your worth isn’t determined by your work. I’ll say it again because it’s a hard pill to swallow for us type A achievers.
Your worth isn’t determined by your work.
Your worth isn't determined by how many emails you answered today, the promotion you're up for, if you're part of the 5 am club, your title, or your economic success. It's just fucking not.
Your worth is determined by the life you craft for yourself and for the ones you love. How much learning, growth, magic, joy, exploration, love, laughter, and fun you build into your life.
This is your one beautiful life; make it a big one. Because I promise, no one will mention how busy or important you were in your eulogy.
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We need to talk about forced birth
Let’s lay the term ‘pro-life’ to rest. The people claiming to be ‘pro-life’ don’t fight for healthcare, or education, or human rights, or for anything that fosters or furthers ‘life’. What they’re doing isn’t 'pro' any form of human life. What they’re doing is taking away the bodily autonomy of women— and in many cases, forcing women to risk their lives. So, a more accurate label is 'pro-forced birth'. Put that shit on a t-shirt, Kyle.
These past few weeks have been hard for women, and anyone who cares about the humanity of women. That should really be more fucking people, eh?
If you’ve been hiding under a rock (or in Europe like me), here’s a quick update. Abortion rights have been under attack these last few weeks at an alarming pace. Here's a breakdown, for a breakdown.
Last week Alabama enacted an aggressively restrictive abortion ban, criminalizing abortion in the state without exceptions for incest and rape. The law also criminalizes doctors who perform abortions— and for performing one they could get up to 99 years in prison. That's four life sentences. I’ve got 99 problems and the fact that a rapist would spend less time in prison than the doctor who helped a woman who was raped is all 99 of them.
The 25 Alabama senators who voted for the bill were white men who will never own a uterus or give birth. No one should ever fuck these guys again; they wouldn’t know the clit if it roundhouse kicked them in the face.
The bill was signed into law by Governor Kay Ivey — a white woman. Really Kay?! You identify with the patriarchy so much that you’re endangering women, specifically marginalized and poor women? Fuck you, Kay. White women are really shitting the bed of humanity, electing Trump, and eroding the rights of women everywhere. We need to get our shit together.
It's no secret why Alabama is signing this legislation now. Trump 's appointment of frat-tastic sexual predator Brett Kavanaugh swung the Supreme Court to the right. This largely 'brovaries before ovaries' Supreme Court is in a position to challenge to Roe v. Wade, the precedent protecting federal abortion access in the US.
Alabama isn’t alone; other states are jumping on this on-fire bandwagon. Next up we have the peachy state of Georgia. And yes, that peach looks like an ass.
Georgia enacted a ‘fetal heartbeat law’ that states that an abortion can’t happen once a fetal heartbeat is detected— which can be as early as 6 weeks, or in a lot of cases, before the woman even knows she’s pregnant. If a woman does get an abortion, the law is vague on what will happen— imprisonment is possible and investigations into what caused a miscarriage are also possible. We’re investigating how women in trauma lost their babies now. Under his goddamn eye.
In the case of rape or incest, an abortion can happen up to 20 weeks but only if an official police report has been filed— and we know the stats on how often that happens. Only 31% of rapes in the US are reported in the first place, and of the ones reported, only 0.7% result in felony conviction. Women don’t trust they’ll get justice, because statistically, they don’t.
Oh and fun fact— if you leave the state to get an abortion, you come home a criminal and can face up to 10 years in prison. More than the rapist got, to be sure. THE Ffff *smashes lamp*
A silver lining? DAs in Georgia are refusing to prosecute under the law. That's pretty fucking cool.
That isn't all
Missouri also passed a fetal heartbeat bill, and 7 other states are on the on-fire bandwagon.
Here's the thing, abortion bans don't stop abortions, they drive them underground and threaten the lives of the women who need them. Primarily, poor women and women of color. This isn't an accident, this is in the design of the pro-life movement, and it needs to stop.
What can we do?
Planned Parenthood and the ACLU are fighting these bills in court— so we can donate to them. The YellowHammer Fund is helping women in Alabama get access to safe abortions, so we can give money to them too.
If you’re a man reading this, first off, excellent! Second, please get angry. Get John Wick post-puppy-murder angry. Because it takes two to tango, and so many men have benefited from the abortions of their sexual partners. You might not know that you’re one of them. Also, you're human, women are humans, and they're trying to take away our bodily autonomy. We need you to get loud on this. It's time to get in the game.
You can't control women, because I don't know if y'all heard, but women are the same as humans.
- Leslie Jones
Something you need today
STRANGER PUGS 2
Something to make you laugh
Jabookie Young-White thinks that any hearing person at the gym running without headphones is training to avenge someone's death.
Sam Bee teaches sex ed to Senators. Welcome to class you fucking idiots.
Something to make you feel better about the world
Seaseme Street welcomed the newest muppet, Karli, and she's in foster care.
Something to make you laugh and think
Some (imperfect, but pointed) standup by George Carlin from the archives.
'They're not pro-life, they're anti-woman. They don't like women."
Thank you for coming by the campfire today friend, I wish I had better news for you. Let's keep supporting each other, holding each other up, and working together for a better world for all of us. I'm sending you love.
P.s If you know someone who needs this letter, please forward it to them or send them to wntta.co. This community grows because of you, and I'm so grateful.