We need to talk about a comeback

Good morning gorgeous. You are looking fabulous this morning. Grab a mug of coffee and pull up a chair. This week was a lot. It's time to dish.

But before we get into it, a quick note on imposter syndrome. I spoke at an International Women’s Day event on Monday, and as much as I wanted to dig into some meaty feminist tech issues (there are oh, so many)— something pulled at me to get real and talk about the first year of my career. I spent the first 365 days of my career in tech waiting for the tap. You know the one. I was 21, one of the only women at a startup, and one of the only non-engineers. So every day, I waited for someone to come up and tap me on the shoulder:

“I’m so sorry, Miss, there has been some sort of mistake. You don’t belong here. You’re going to have to leave. Please quietly exit through the gift shop.”

I didn't think I was worthy of taking up that space. I was wrong. And babe, if you’re thinking the same thing, you’re wrong too. But you’re not alone.

We’re really good at telling ourselves scary stories. Stories like ‘you don’t deserve this’, or ‘you’re not smart enough for that promotion’, or ‘they’ll find out you don’t belong here and ask you to leave’ (just 21-year-old me?). Here’s the thing, you become the stories we most often tell yourself, and only you can change that narrative.

You are worthy of your accomplishments. You deserve to take up space. You aren’t fooling anyone, darlin’, you’re right where you belong.

Now, go show them what you can do.

We need to talk about anti-vaxxers

While we’re over here worried about climate change, there is a group of real-life humans saying “we can get this apocalypse thing done faster”. One more time for the people in the back: vaccines do not cause Autism. Here is yet another intensive study proving it. Not getting vaccinated can bring back old school diseases, like measles— a disease the US declared eradicated in 2000.

What’s this? Measles is currently making a comeback in Toronto, Vancouver, New York, and Washington State and across North America thanks to unvaccinated kids, and their parents who believed bad science and loud people? Last year measles was a bigger killer in Europe than terrorism.

If you’re thinking, well I’m vaccinated, so I’m safe, you’re right! But a lot of people with weakened immune systems, like cancer patients, aren’t so lucky. These diseases can wreak havoc and put a lot of vulnerable people at risk of death. But sure, Karen, kale and essential oils will fucking solve it.

Vaccines are life-saving, and anyone choosing not to have their kids vaccinated is putting innocent people at risk. It’s maddening, and it has to stop.

We need to talk about the remix to ignition

R Kelly gave an interview with Gayle King last night and if he was going for stable and innocent, he, uh, did not nail it. Dude is Certified Rotten. Kelly got confrontational, yelling into the camera, crying, and swearing. He claims he can’t be investigated for abuse in his past because he “beat” a sexual assault charge in 2008. Do innocent people say they ‘beat’ their charges? *squints* Props to Gayle King for not getting the hell outta there, because Kelly resembled a dumpster of toxic masculinity lit on fire and careening down a mountain. *slowly backs away*

If you need a reminder, Kelly has been abusing young women of colour for years, and until last month, he’s gotten away with it. One of his survivors, Lisa VanAllen, who first testified against Kelly in 2008, penned a harrowing op-ed in the New York Times on her abuse. No one believed her then. That’s bullshit. We believe her now.

On February 22nd Kelly surrendered to Chicago police for 10 counts of criminal, aggravated sexual assault against four women, three of whom were underage at the time of the ‘alleged’ attack. He’s out on 1 million dollar bond. If you’ve got The Remix to Ignition on a Spotify playlist it’s time to mute this guy, cause he’s using your cash to get out of prison— which is where he belonged years ago.

It’s the freakin' weekend, baby imma about to be convicted of serious crimes against women of colour who I’ve been abusing for over two decades. Finally.

The Dame is back with spring cleaning tips
The Dame Tips are a monthly guest series by wntta's resident Don Draper: an elegant hedonist who suffers no fools, The Dame herself Ali Schofield

I know Mother Nature has been a frosty bitch the last few weeks (god love her), but a little birdie told me that spring is coming early. Still, March is a fickle mistress, and little birdies’ weather predictions sometimes feel like a strategy to prevent a SAD-induced riot. Darling, you must be prepared for anything.

Read the Dame's Tips for March on the blog.

Something to make you laugh
I Support Strong Women Of Colour Unless They Are Politically To My Left
On one hand, it’s like, “Yasskween, do your thang!” but on the other hand it’s like, “No kween, please do not do your thang, I am laundering money through a shell corporation registered in Delaware and it simply cannot be taxed.”

Something to make you think
How Trump's new Title X regulations will impact women's health and Planned Parenthood.

Something to help with 2019
Amber Ruffin remakes problematic classics because there’s no need to separate the art from the artist. You can throw them both in the garbage.

Something to warm your heart
Teen boys can be awesome too, these ones saved a dangling 8-year-old skier.

Something to get you through
When faced with sexism or ageism or lookism or even really aggressive Buddhism, ask yourself the following question: ‘Is this person in between me and what I want to do?’ If the answer is no, ignore it and move on. Your energy is better used doing your work and outpacing people that way.- Tina Fey

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