The Dame Tips for Fabulous Living: August Edition
A monthly guest series by wntta's resident Don Draper: an elegant hedonist who suffers no fools, The Dame herself, writer Ali Schofield.
Gin-soaked greetings from the hellscape that is our world right now. To be clear, I’m referencing current politics, culture, and meteorology. Whether in spite or because of the quivering dystopia building like poisonous fog in the distance, here are some tips for living fabulously (or just not being an asshole) this month.
1. Darling, when it's rush hour in the subway station, do not be a salmon swimming upstream. When there is a perfectly good escalator ascending to your right and a flood of people coming down the stairs to your left, there is no need to be a goddam hero and start climbing against the descending crowd. Taking stairs two at a time as you race your conveyor-ed counterparts does not impress anyone: we're on public transit, therefore we're already having a bad day, so do us all a favour and just wait your turn. I know you don’t want people to think you’re obnoxious, right? And I also know you wouldn’t care for my elbow in your face. It wasn’t an accident, I swear!
2. Put your face on ice. One of the things that helps me stand the summer weather is keeping my skincare products in the fridge. I’m talking toner, moisturizer, wrinkle cream that is, to this point, thankfully still preventative. I may not have wrinkles, but I am old enough to describe something like this as a sincere treat. Also, fun tip for all you sun lovers, keeping your sunscreen in the fridge during the winter months will help it retain its effectiveness. You. Are. Welcome. :)
3. Watch the sunrise on the beach, if that’s your idea of magic. For my most recent birthday, I asked my friends if we could watch the sunrise on the beach. I basically imagined my birthday as a night of champagne cocktails, medium rare steak and potatoes unapologetically gilded with foie gras, and general debauchery til dawn in the vein of Sofia Coppola’s Marie Antoinette. I was humoured the first few times I brought it up, but the week of mes amies pointed out the snow still carpeting the ground. My point is, my dear, tis the season for sunrises on the beach if that’s your thing. The summer is more than halfway over or whatever (wah, wah) so do something magical before it ends.
I’ll see you lovers next month, but in the meantime try to be like a martini – cool, dry and maybe a little salty – all the best ones are.